Hey Guys
It's the eve of my departure back to post. I hope. The plane ticket is very expensive back and I can't afford it until we get paid. That was supposed to happen today, but so far no money yet. So I'm finally getting my "broke, sleeping on others' couches, living on bread" experience haha. The last few days have been okay. My friend Hillary's parents came and visited her. They took us out for dinner a couple of times and were hilarious. They even let me crash in their fancy suite for a few nights. We had a great time together and they were really encouraging about my problems at site.
I just had a meeting with the Assistant Peace Corps Country Director for Vanuatu (my boss' boss). It was good in the sense that I was able to tell her about my site visit so she can do a better performance evaluation on my boss, but not so good at the same time because I gathered from her that I don't actually have that many options. I got more information from her about what my village thinks of me. Apparently my boss left out a few details when talking to me about his meeting with the village. It was good to hear the real story. Unfortunately Linda, my boss' boss, let on that it probably wouldn't be possible for me to get a site change, unless there was some sort of security issue. I feel it's a bit unfortunate because there are lots of volunteers here who get site changes for frivolous reasons. Some even lie about security issues so they can get a new site. But two girls from my group are getting site changes so I think there just isn't a place I could go to. I think one of the hardest things for me to do is just look at my situation by itself and not compare it to others'. Either way, my final decision is to go back to post and stick it out for a while. This could just be a low in my rollercoaster experience. I feel that if I just break down my service into bite sized chunks where I take short trips at the end of every month I'll be okay. Nobody can go too crazy in a month, right? Haha. I want to find a project that I can completely throw myself into. I'll have to think on that one, but I might have found something with a census-type of project. Once I complete this basic survey, I think the demographic information will help me find areas in which my village needs some help. We'll see.
On the other hand, I realized that if I'm going to stick it out I may as well make myself more comfortable. I went ahead and bought a solar panel (which is why I'm broke now haha). It was about $250 with all the cords for a 22.5 Watt panel. A friend loaned me a truck battery and inverter. I think I still need to find a regulator and then I'll be in business! The lack of sun could present a small problem, but I think I'll have enough power for a small light every night, charging my ipod and mobile phone, and maybe even charging a laptop. A friend is going back to the States and might be able to bring a relatively cheap one back for me. Having a laptop with excel and word would be a lot easier to organize project documents and whatnot (not to mention being able to show movies and play freecell hehe). I've gone without amenities for about eight months now and I feel like it's time for some luxury :) Hopefully I can figure out how to set it all up.
So all in all I'm feeling better. I'm glad I took this time to put things into perspective and start fresh again. Thank you all for your emails and advice. It's very comforting to know that I've got friends and family who care about me.
Love you guys!
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