Family Changes

Let's back up a little. I started to write a closing post to my Peace Corps experience and before long, realized that (because I hadn't written in so long) I was going into tangents within tangents within tangents. So I'm going to create a few separate posts to keep things simple.

The subject of my first post will be Susian's pregnancy. I won't go into all of the details, but suffice it to say that she told me that she was pregnant shortly after our trip to Naviso. My host parents weren't exactly jumping for joy, especially when Susian's baby's daddy disappeared, but they eventually got over it. They began to view it as happy news, even more so when they learned that my brother Hensley, who lives in Vila, was going to be a father soon. Suddenly my family dynamic changed. With school back in session and Susian taking it easier, my family began to struggle. Food around the house was more scarce, in direct contrast with the dirty clothes and rubbish, which were piling up. Also, Susian could mo longer spend nights at my house.

So I slept alone at nights. Worthless Stuey was out chasing females. I was so frightened at night that I couldn't fall asleep until I heard the roosters start to crow around 3 am. Some nights, I pulled my mattress out into the sitting room just because it made me feel safer. Two weeks hadn't passed before I asked my cousin, Shelda, to be my new roomie. (Shelda on the left, Susian on the right.) She moved in and what a difference! First of all, she decorated her room with pretty fabrics and mats, which Susian never did. She swept floors, washed dishes, and brought me food! I love Susian, but living with Shelda was awesome. Because Shelda was trying so hard, I found myself trying harder as well. I would walk her back to her house almost every day and hang out for a while.

And thus it started. I would go to my family's house for dinner, only to find that there was barely enough food for them. I felt guilty asking for a helping, even when I contributed. So I started going to Shelda's house for dinner. They had been bringing me plates of food anyway, and their food was soooo good. I still tried to hang out with my family, but my mama was always going to the garden and Susian was usually resting.

My family became the subject of gossip within the village. People were already talking about Susian's pregnancy, but pregnancy out of wedlock wasn't anything new. However, Susian's morning sickness was particularly bad and she could stomach only a limited range of food. She lost a noticeable amount of weight and people began to question how well our family was taking care of her. Once they saw that I was no longer eating with them, people really started to talk. Fact of the matter was that my papa spends his days hungover from kava, then nights drinking the stuff, so my mama was bearing most of the work every day. I felt guilty that my spending so much time at my auntie's was hurting my family's reputation, but I didn't know what else to do. I was so much happier there. My auntie and uncle were better educated. They had more daughters so their place was cleaner and there was more food and people to talk with.

So the last few months of my service went like that. The larger Susian got, the less we'd have to talk about. She began to hang out more with the mamas, while I spent more time with the girls who had yet to marry. Sortof an abrupt ending to this post, but it has to do with later events so stay tuned...